Do's & Don'ts to Avoid Relationship Mistakes While Dating After a Divorce
Dating after divorce will never be easy. You will always feel the need to move on and go with your life, but there will always be fear of repeating the same mistakes.
Don’t worry. Getting back in the dating world may be challenging but doable. All you need is to remember these do’s and don’ts to help you get through this process of dating after divorce:
- DO focus your thinking. What do you want to achieve in your life after divorce? It will take time before you fully recover, but you can always clear your head and establish what you want to achieve in your life. Focus.
- DON’T delay meeting in person. As much as possible, see the person right away. Creating a virtual relationship is dangerous and allows you to develop intimacy without knowing the person.
- DO choose someone who will make you believe in happy ending. Many people will make you believe that happy ending exists; however, only few are willing to prove that. It will take time, but eventually, you will meet one of those few.
- DON’T hide out. You may not be ready to date, but this doesn’t mean you should stay in your cave. Go out and see the world in a different point of view – your point of view.
- DO understand the reasons why your last relationship failed. There is a reason why your relationship failed – and it is important that you understand what went wrong. Let this serve as a lesson to make you more courageous in jumping into another relationship.
- DON’T get a rebound. This won’t help you in the moving on process and you might be getting in a relationship – again – for the wrong reasons.
- DO keep your expectations low. He may look good and sound great, but this doesn’t mean that he is the one who will make you feel complete again. Don’t expect too much and get to know the person better before you decide on anything.
- DON’T choose someone who refuses to take ownership. If a person blames everything that’s happening to him on other people, pick up your bag and leave. There is a chance that he might blame you in case it didn’t work out.
- DO take control of your life. Happiness is a choice. You may not find an amicable agreement when it comes to child custody, but you can always have a choice on what you want to do with your life. Be the master of your own destiny and start taking control.
- DON’T be bitter. Going through failed relationship can be hard. Still, this doesn’t mean you should be an epitome of someone who went through divorce. Stop playing the victim card and treat your failed relationship as a lesson, not a hindrance.
- DO have fun. At the end of the day, it’s all about enjoying the experience. The first person you dated may not necessarily be “the one,” but the experience you had is definitely one for the books. Just relax and enjoy the experience.
- DON’T settle. Divorce is painful and messy, but getting into another relationship is a different story. Don’t get into another one to make you feel better or to boost your self-esteem. Enjoy being single – for now – and you will find the right one in no time.
Just be patient.
This article was written by:
Amy Sara Cores is one of the attorneys at Cores & Associates, L.L.C. a New Jersey-based family law firm dealing with child custody cases. Graduated from Florida State University (FSU), she is a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers & certified by the Supreme Court of NJ as a Matrimonial Lawyer and a part of various Bar Associations. Apart from her educational background, Amy's has achieved many awards right from year 2008 and was featured in the Super Lawyer’s Magazine in the year 2015. Amy also writes for various legal publications and is a regular speaker at seminars to educate young attorneys.