Who has the rights - the parent or the child?
If I had a $1 for every time a parent said to me “but I have rights” - I would be very rich by now! The truth is - you don’t have rights. Your children do.
It is not your right to spend time with your kids. It is your children’s right to spend time with you.
But what difference does that make you are probably asking yourself? The difference is when it is your child’s right to spend time with you, to have a loving and meaningful relationship with you there needs to be a good reason why they shouldn’t. At the same time, you need to be aware that as it is your children’s right - there is no guarantee that what you want is what you get. Why? Your children have lives as well; and whilst it is their right to have a loving and meaningful relationship with you the decision has to be one that is in their best interests and these two don’t always result in the same outcome. You see, there are a myriad of different factors that the Family Law Act requires lawyers and the Court to take into account when giving you advice and making a decision about what is in your children’s best interests.
When your child has a right to a relationship with the other parent it means that you, as mum or dad should be facilitating that and not doing anything to interfere with that relationship. Just as you have the right to not be bullied or harassed at work and made to feel horrible each and every day you turn up, your child has the right to feel happy and content turning up at the other parent’s household. Snide comments, eye rolling, sarcasm and obstructive behaviour will not help to facilitate a relationship or alleviate any concerns your child has.
This won't work for every situation, but abuse aside, when your relaitonship with your ex has broken down due to issues between you then there is no reason why your children should be afforded this opportunity.
If you are on the receiving end, mediation is your best option. To sit down, with the assistance of a family dispute resolution practitioner, who will be able to facilitate the conversation may just help identify not only the reason why but what can be done to enable you all to move forward.