Top 4 Tips to Effective Co Parenting
Co parenting doesn't come naturally to a lot of people. It is a skill that requires practice, patience and more practice. If you find that you are struggling to co parenting in an effective manner here are our top tips to help you get through.
Whilst you may have shared a lot in the past, now that you have separated the other parent may not want to know the ins and outs of what is going on at work, with your family or friends and equally they may not feel comfortable sharing this information with you. Try and establish a set of guidelines on what you will and will not discuss with each other and how those discussions will take place.
It can be hard to go from partners to strangers but respecting the boundaries of each other’s personal life can make your new co parenting relationship more effective in the future (at least in the first instance). Some of you will find that when the dust has settled you may be able to start to re-establish a mutual relationship which may in the future involve new partners. This may be ideal, but if you rush this when the other parent isn’t ready for it – the foundations will be hard to re build.
Learn to let go
At the end of the day when your children are with the other parent you cannot control what happens at that residence. You cannot control what time they go to bed, what they eat, what they wear… so there is no point stressing over it. Yes it may be hard when they come to you. Yes you may be frustrated that the children are tired, grumpy and hungry but you jumping up and down and accusing the other parent of not looking after your children will not help.
If the other parent can’t see the harm or the consequences put into place strategies that will help you and the children when they come back to your place so you don’t waste time and energy stressing over behaviour that you cannot change.
Communication is the key to any relationship (whether it be at work or at home) and it is essential when the people who are affected by the lack of communication are the children. Remember that your children did not choose this predicament – they are however the ones who have to live with it. So the least you can do is share information with the other parent to make their life a little bit easier.
Respectful communications is another essential ingredient in creating an effective co parenting relationship. Learning how to communicate and discuss issues (not the person) will ensure that you are learning to build a solid business like relationship for the sake of your children. Your children will be listening and watching far more than you will appreciate. They pick up on verbal and non verbal cues and will learn how to behave based on your demeanour and words. Knowing this, means that there is a far heavier burden placed on you because now it is your responsibility to ensure that the children feel safe, secure and comfortable in maintaining their relationships into the future.
If you do the above, you will start to build a solid foundation for an effective co parenting relationship. If you would like to learn more about effective co parenting you can do so through our separated parents orders training program. Alternatively if you just need help to store your communications and records about your children our co parenting communication portal is the perfect place to keep everything together.