Sometimes Love is Not Enough

by Admin User / Uncategorised / 29 Jul 2019

During the early stages of a romantic relationship, it’s all about breaking down barriers and connecting with one another. What soon follows, if the relationship progresses, is usually, love. 

During the “honey moon” stage in a relationship, people often describe feeling ‘swept off their feet’ and ‘madly in love’. These feelings are extremely important building blocks for a relationship and without said feelings, you likely won’t continue the relationship. 

When you initially start seeing someone, things are quite simple. When you’re living apart, paying for your own belongings and simply getting to know each other and enjoying each-others company, love may well be the only necessity. However, if your relationship progresses into marriage or perhaps having a child together, there is a point at which love is just unfortunately, not enough. 

How many times have you heard of someone have a child with their partner in the hope that it would “fix” their relationships? Unfortunately in very few cases can a child “fix” a relationship.  In fact our children can often put more strain on an already fragile relationship. Coparenting requires communication, understanding, trust and consistency. The very traits that can often be lacking in such relationships.

There are a multitude of responsibilities that come along with having a child and in this situation a relationship or marriage becomes reliant on far more than just love for sustainability. 

What a Child Needs in a Parent: 

  • Unconditional Love
  • Care, empathy, support
  • To be listened to
  • Role Models 
  • A happy and healthy home environment
  • Consistent Financial Support
  • Education
  • Sensitivity and Forgiveness
  • A healthy lifestyle 

For a relationship to be healthy and successful you need the following things: 

  • Love 
  • Loyalty and honesty
  • Healthy communication 
  • Compassion, empathy, care and sensitivity 
  • To share the same values, morals and ethics 
  • To be in agreement about the important things (eg. finances, parenting, morals)
  • To support each other no matter what, however, provide constructive criticism when necessary
  • To disagree on certain things and fight every now and then is normal, but to continuously argue and have aggressive fights is not healthy

You love each other but it simply isn’t working?

Love is not simply based upon fond feelings and attraction, when a relationship becomes a partnership, to truly love someone is to fulfil all of the above and more responsibilities. Yet sometimes love is not enough.  Sometimes you need more and this is ok. It by no means will be easy. You will question yourself, and probably talk yourself in and out of the relationship a thousand times before you make a decision. And that is ok too.  Separating is not easy. It is not a quick fix either. Yes the relationship might be over by the legal mess you may find yourself in during the divorce process can be made of nightmares.  

If you are afraid your relationship with your partner is not ticking all of the necessary boxes, it may be time to seek professional assistance. Whether it be our coparenting tool to help with your communication, or some personal assistance from our divorce coach - we are ready to help. You never know - maybe love is all you need to find your spark again!