When it comes to communication it isn’t about winning every argument

by Admin User / Co Parenting / 5 Oct 2022

Woman looking like she has won

I was in the park the other day watching this little boy and his father interact with one another.

As my daughter and I watched it took me back to this great story I was told about a young boy who was taught a valuable lesson by his Father.

All about controlling emotions and how the words we say really do affect us all in some way.

His father decided to hand him a bag of nails and said that every time the boy lost his temper, he had to hammer a nail into the fence.

The boy gradually began to control his temper, and the number of nails he was hammering into the fence started to reduce.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father the news and his father suggested that he should now pull out a nail every day he kept his temper under control.

Eventually, the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. 

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

“you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

It is no different when we lose our temper or speak badly of our ex in the presence of our children.  They know, they hear, they feel just the same as we do and they love both of you without condition.  

I don’t believe for one second you would want to intentionally hurt your children.  So don’t hurt their other parent either.

Unfortunately, we all get caught up in our own world.

We all look for what is best for us.

We all think that it is a competition between us vs them.

That is just simply wrong.

The only thing we need to focus on is how well we can bring up an amazing child no matter what our own circumstances are.

I feel every parent gets this and wants this.

You might not quite be ready, or it might be exactly the right time for you to hear this.

But remember every word you say affects the person you love the most... Your children.

Reach out if you are ready to change this around for the better.